Memories
by Abandoned Anarchy Angel
Summary: When Callisto loses her nightmares, her memories of her family fade. When she talks with Theodoras will her destructive ways end or will they become ten times worse. ONESHOT. Will write more if people want. Summary sucks, sorry! Please read!


**Hey peoples! Okay, this is just a random idea I got so I hope it's good! Please review and tell me what you think! If you're a fan of Callisto then I have another two fan fictions called 'Unlikely Allies' and 'Callisto: Warrior Queen' so if you could would you please check those out and review! Thanks! I'd also like to say two things: 1. Hudson Leick is the best actress ever! 2. Yay the exams are over!! :D Throughout the show I've often noticed tiny little moments when Callisto would have feelings when thinking back to her family and the way she used to be innocent (all down to the amazing acting of Hudson!) so I decided to show how she truly feels with this one shot. **

**Memories:**

**Neutral POV:**

Callisto's army were ready to attack another village, Callisto had learned about bloodlust and has stopped trying to ruin Xena's reputation, mostly because people now know of her true identity. There were often times when she would sit away from her army and loose herself in thought. She would be sharpening her sword and often thinking back to her family, the loving times she had with them, but usually those thoughts concluded with them dying again, right in front of Callisto's eyes.

There was one night in particular, this one, it was extremely cold, windy and there was a storm due. Theodoras, who really cared for Callisto often saw her with those 'distant' expressions, always knew that he should leave her alone and for two reasons. The first one being that if he provoked her when she was in an agitated state she'd kill him in an instant, the second one being that he really cared about her and didn't want to upset her any more than she already was. But Theodoras had to approach Callisto, the army had to get into the caves before the bad weather came in, otherwise the next raid would be completely pointless.

He took a deep breath and decided to approach her. He said out loud to the rest of the army that he was going to ask could they move; he did so to warn Callisto of his coming presence so that she mightn't kill him. He approached Callisto very quietly and when he stood about a foot away from her he cleared his throat, hoping to attract her attention. She didn't look up at him, acknowledge he was there, or even flinch. She was deep in thought and he'd have to get her out of it, one way or another.

"My Queen?" Theodoras said softly, hoping that she wouldn't attack him. He stood back slightly. Callisto still didn't reply she kept on sharpening her sword, rocking back and forth slightly, still keeping that distant expression on her face.

"What Theodoras?" she asked very softly, she still wasn't paying much attention.

"It's getting colder and a storm is brewing, I think we should move to the caves," he said softly looking straight at Callisto; she was still very far away. She didn't reply for a few moments.

"Yeah fine," she said softly. This was very unlike Callisto, usually she'd either lead the army herself or make it very obvious that they're not important to her and let them do whatever they like.

Theodoras, if he was wise would've turned around and walked away as Callisto was obviously in a very down mood. Theodoras knew this but cared for Callisto too much to just walk away. He decided to ask her about what was wrong, knowing that it would get him killed, but from his experience in life, love isn't something that comes easily and it's worth risking your life for.

"Is something the matter my queen?" he asked softly. Callisto again didn't reply straight away, she still kept that distant expression. She looked up at Theodoras, yet it seemed as though she was looking beyond him. Theodoras looked behind him, all he saw were the burnt out houses of a village they had just raided. A thought struck him, was she thinking back to Cirra.

"Is it your family my Queen?" he asked softly.

She kept looking beyond Theodoras, looking at one house in particular. After another few moments she finally spoke.

"Yes," she sighed softly, not saying another word after that.

Theodoras felt that it was time to walk away but he couldn't leave Callisto behind on her own, he cared for her too much.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

Callisto was still very deep in thought, she was hardly aware of anything around her. She didn't reply to Theodoras, she just looked back to her sword, sharpening it again.

Theodoras soon realised that he wasn't going to get anywhere so he was just about to walk off. Callisto finally started speaking again, so he stopped walking and looked at Callisto, who didn't look at him.

Theodoras told Callisto when they first met that he shared something slightly in common with her, anger, resentment and revenge. When Theodoras was a young, innocent boy his mother was killed by his drunken and abusive father, right in front of him. He himself was beaten by his father until he turned seventeen and killed him. Since then he had a lust for blood.

"Do you ever have nightmares?" Callisto asked, obviously implying about his mother being killed.

"Yes," was all Theodoras replied softly taking another step towards Callisto, being wary of the fact that she may still kill him.

"Do you ever just want it all to end?" she asked, finally looking at him.

"Yes of course my Queen, do you?"

"I did and they did," was all she said softly.

Theodoras had absolutely no idea about what Callisto was saying. She stopped looking at him and returned looking at her sword as she kept sharpening it.

"Every night, I dream of my family, my mother and my sister. I remember the fun we used to have together. I remember the nights that my mother used to tuck me into bed, the nights I'd be restless she would sing me to sleep and when I'd wake up after a nightmare she'd hold me until I'd drift off again. Then it finishes by their screams, their agonised faces and looking upon their ashes as my feelings numbed up. Every time I close my eyes I see them die, over and over again I see them die right in front of me. My pain will never go because it keeps being reborn every night. I still have the fear that I had when I was there," she said softly, she seemed to be speaking more to herself than Theodoras. The more she spoke the faster and harder she sharpened her sword.

Theodoras noticed that Callisto seemed to be thinking out loud and wasn't sure whether to speak or not. As he loved her so dearly, he took the risk and spoke.

"Are your nightmares getting worse?" Theodoras asked.

"They couldn't have gotten any worse; they were so vivid, as were my memories of the good times."

Theodoras nodded even though she wasn't looking at him.

"I'd heard Ares say that something about the God of Dreams, the God Morpheus. I searched frantically and found his temple. Once I fought my way inside I went to his chamber and prayed to him, I prayed that if he would end the nightmares I'd do absolutely anything. He said yes, but, if I lost something bad I'd have to lose something good, something very close to what was left of my heart. Of course, there's nothing in this world precious to me so I said yes. But I didn't think about what I was doing...I was so stupid...so...so...stupid..." she said shaking her head.

"Did you lose something my Queen?" Theodoras asked.

"Yes," she sighed softly.

Theodoras wasn't sure as to whether he should ask what she lost. He could see that by now Callisto was quite agitated and he didn't want to anger her further, although it was obvious she was in mourning. He took a deep breath and decided to ask her.

"What did you lose my Queen?" he asked softly, taking another step backwards.

She didn't reply straight away, there was a longer pause than before, Theodoras took another step backwards.

"Them," was all she said.

"Them?" Theodoras asked, wondering was she trying to play mental games with him at this stage.

"My family, my memories," she sighed deeply.

Theodoras finally understood what Callisto was talking about now. Callisto was losing the nightmares that haunted her from the night they died, but she also lost the dreams that kept her memories alive.

"Every night I used to dream of my family, my mother and my sister, concluding the dream would be a nightmare of the night they died. I was stupid; I never asked Morpheus what I was losing because I thought that I had nothing to lose. I just don't dream anymore, it's been weeks since I've seen the face of my mother or heard the voice of my sister. And I'm losing them. Every time I picture my mother, her face and smile loses its detail. Every time I imagine speaking to my sister, her voice loses its uniqueness, its gracefulness and its perkiness."

Theodoras finally understood Callisto and sat down beside her, knowing that he could be walking over to his death, but he felt that when it was for the woman you loved it was worth it.

"I lost them when I was a little girl, and for that I truly hate Xena. But now I've lost them again, except this time I've got nobody to blame except myself," Callisto said firing her sword so it stuck into the nearest house. As a sudden, strong gust of wind swept across the village they were in the embers that were left over were ignited again and a fire swept across the village, burning what was left of the houses.

Callisto stood up and walked into the very centre of the village and looked around, and then she walked over to one house in particular, stood in front of it and started at it intently. Theodoras walked behind her and stood about one foot away from her.

"I lost my family though the bloody hands of Xena and I've lost my family again from my own stupidity," Callisto said softly closing her eyes, being reminded of her family on the night they died, her memory being refreshed by it.

"Death and destruction is all I've got left to remember them now."


End file.
